Another decade begins...

Well...

I turned 30 last week.

I had a wonderful day, walking the flower markets, eating brunch, spending time with friends and family... 

but even with all the love and friendship I experienced on this day, something wasn't quite right.

As I took time to pray later in the day, 

I found God showing me how I have been feeling this way for months, maybe even years.

I'm stuck.

Once I recognised this, I realised that I stand on the cusp of something new. 

A new decade in my life has begun. 

The last decade was disappointing in many ways, but this coming decade doesn't have to follow in the last's footsteps. 

And so, I made the decision to work through what my dreams and desires really are. 

To pray about them, 

and look at how they can come to pass. 

I don't have to force every door open, however, I believe that in recognising all that God has given me in my heart, 

I can prepare myself and be ready to see the door open. 

No longer will I be blind to God's leading and always survive on half hopes and dreams. 

I can have hopes and dreams that bloom full and lush. 

I can lay them at my Lord's feet in prayer and he will hear them and will guide me.

And so, as I sit with Tarquin on my lap, having loudly purred himself into a sleeping stupor, I know that I can start to pray and dream about my future - whole heartedly.

A Walk in the Park

On Saturday I was invited to go to a concert held in the Sydney Conservatorium. 

Kaori and Yuki Fujii are Japanese sisters. One plays the flute, the other the piano. 

I heard what must be one of the best renditions of Clair de Lune and some stunning flute pieces that I haven't heard before. 

Quite inspiring!

Prior to the concert, my friend and I had a stroll through the Botanical Gardens. 

Have a look at this incredible lotus lily...

After the concert we went and had dinner at a pub in Wooloomooloo, 

and this was the skyline looking back at the city.

So, I enjoyed a lovely evening - experiencing some of God's wonderful gifts to me... 

creation...

music...

friendship...

Tarquin

It has been a while since I have made a consistent effort to report my God Sightings to you. Part of it is that I have been really busy, but part of it is that I'm really not paying enough attention to it. Other things have been consuming my mind. And in all honesty, I don't think it has been very healthy.

In the last few months, there have been things in my life that have broken my heart. But even in this, God has been walking with me. He blessed me with a cute flat to live in, which is so close to church, great coffee, good florists, is surrounded by trees, lots of beautiful bird songs can be heard, but MOST importantly allows me to have Tarquin with me.

I've treasured coming home to Tarquin's welcoming meow. Sitting on the couch and having him come and sit with me the next moment, having dinner with Tarquin beside me and even having his whiskers shoved in my face at 3am, demanding to get under the covers. Incidentally, recently he has taken to 'pawing' my face. He puts his whiskers in my face, but I've ignored them, so to make his point, he 'paws' at my face - right where the covers are! I'm always amazed how insistent, yet gentle he is - he could easily scratch me.

Anyway, enough ranting on about my treasure, Tarquin. The point is, he has consistently been a God Sighting to me over the last few months. I have regularly thanked God for him, allowing me to not be entirely alone.

Let me share some photos.

That is my leg that Tarquin is cuddled up against! That night, my leg was his pillow!

This is one of Tarquin's favourite positions. 

He crawls up as close to my face as he can, then finds a way to curl up.

Deep thoughts

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me".

Erma Bombeck

When I read this statement on one of the blogs I followed, my first thought was, 'did the person who wrote this actually understand the eternal implications of what they were saying.'

Then I thought, 'did the person who blogged this statement understand the eternal implications of the statement that they loved.'

(Now I'm thinking - I am a bit of a cynic!)

But the next thought drove deeper into my conscious: do I fully accept the physical and eternal implications of this statement.

I could say to myself, 'that's nice' 

or I could choose to let the statement speak to the tumult of emotions that I have been experiencing in the last year.

It isn't that unusual to be talking with a friend about something that I've done or made and they have said, "you could make a living out of that." God has blessed me with many things I can do and like to do. 

Yet, I wonder... do I use everything God has given me?

The fact is, yes, to some degree I do use everything that God has given me. The deeper reality is that I don't know if I adequately use the things that God has given me. My heart and mind get pulled in many directions with all the things I can do. 

My heart would love to follow some of my creative inclinations in a career.

My heart wishes and dreams of using all my gifts in loving a family, cultivating them and growing with them.

My heart and head says you have a gift working with children, and sharing the truth of God and helping them grow spiritually is the best thing you can be doing. Focus on that.

Yet, the reality is I always come back to feeling... 

... it would be nice to be a florist or stylist

... it would be lovely to have a means by which to cultivate my culinary delights

... it would be lovely to take my life and transport it to the UK or Europe and experience life there

... would the right man look at me and love me if I was doing something different

These things are not the focus of my life all the time. Just dreams that have sat in my heart for years.

Occasionally things I see

or hear

or read

blow the dust off my dreams, bringing that bud into full-bloom again.

But just like with a rose in full bloom, 

a windy day

a unthoughtful knock

or a swirling breeze can blow the petals away,

that dream comes to nothing. 

There is nothing to make it live 

or thrive

or grow.

The reality is normality. 

A normality with only little sunshines in its journey. 

Sometimes, 

it hurts so much to have dreams that come to nothing

that I wonder why I bother to have them at all.

Advent: A time to prepare the heart.

How do you celebrate Christmas?

What does it remind you of?

During my time in the Uniting church I was introduced to the season of Advent: four weeks before Christmas to prepare you for that day.

It is something that I bought to my ministry in my current church, and each year endeavour to make a more central part of my Christmas preparations. I find that I get so busy leading up to Christmas that I don't get to do any of the enjoyable preparations for this event until the last days before Christmas.

I am determined to change this, this year. I want to enjoy the baking, the crafting and the decorating that comes with the season, but in doing these things preparing my heart for the coming of the King. Mayhaps it  will also place a salve on my wounded heart.

The first Sunday of Advent is tomorrow. In this first week, we celebrate Hope. Hope in the coming Messiah (as was long anticipated 2000 years ago and anticipated today, in his return to Earth). 

There truly is no other Being that can give the Hope that God does. He loves us so dearly, that he always has our best in his heart. Through great pain, he holds us, carrying us towards his glorious future.

In these last days, I have felt Him holding and sustaining me. He has placed friends around me, continually calling or offering to spent time with me. It has alleviated the pain in my heart when it has be broken most. Surely this is a practical expression of God's life-giving hope.

Look at your own life. Seek the moments God gives you each day that give you hope. 

See these moments as gifts from God, 

a practical

life-giving

gift!

HOPE

images via weheartit

A Quick Post

This coming Sunday is Sunday School Anniversary at church. It is a time when we celebrate what the children have learned and they have the opportunity to worship with the adults. It is always a great day, but requires a mass of preparation to get everything ready. I actually feel ok this year. I still have a long list of things to do, but that list is shorter than the previous years as I've been working away at it for the last 3-4 weeks.


So as much as I would like to be on here posting what God shares with me in my life, I just may not get time to do it right away. So, apologies in advance and I hope to have some special things to share with you at the end of the week.

Replanted

I replanted my pot garden this afternoon. 

I wanted to plant some veggies, but knew that the next few months are going to be really hectic and in reality I won't have time to tend my little garden well enough to grow veggies well. 

So instead I have some double petunias and white lobelia seedlings. 

I can't wait to see them grow and bloom. 

I should end up with a feminine display outside my bedroom. 

My herb pot is looking well established. 

The oregano is starting to flow over the edge of the pot and the thyme is flowering. 

There is a gorgeous weeping violet like plant next to my herb pot that adds a lovely splash of purple.

It's nice to know that while I'm busy preparing for 

the Sunday School Anniversary, Advent Program, Summer Program and Kids Fun Days, 

I will have a lovely garden to come home to. 

One that doesn't need too much care, but will 

continually remind me of God 

and all the wonderful things 

he has created 

and 

given me.

God Talks

It's funny how God decides to use us a lot when we feel at our worst.


Yesterday, I felt worse than I had in a long time. I wasn't a 100% sure why. But in my afternoon of activities I found myself walking beside a family that was going through a crisis, helping them carry their pain. 


This morning, I was up early to be at the 7am walking group with my gym in Wahroonga. As it happened, I was the only person that came for the walk this morning with the personal trainer. We had a great hour of sharing. I was privileged to have her ask me some questions that had bothered her about 'ethics' classes in schools, and deeper, why God would allow suffering of 'innocent' people.


In the midst of caring for the needs of these people, God gave me strength to continue on in a difficult situation and clarity of mind as I spoke to the trainer. One of the things I spoke of to the trainer was miracles in the world today - showing us the great compassion of God. These two days I have seen God give to me more than I had in myself to give. There is no way that I could have given to these people what I did without his divine assistance.


God still talks and 'does' today.


We just need to be watching for it.

The Worship Experience

I've been away at a conference for a few days. Saw some great stuff. But the most exciting thing was watching 130 kids spending 1.5-2 hrs twice a day worshipping, learning and praising God. Was really excited by what I saw. Adults leading kids in whole hearted worship that would transform their lives when they went back to actual reality.


As a kid's pastor, I love seeing the spiritual lives of children expand.  Not talking down required - just meeting their need and giving them every opportunity to respond.


Anyone with a heart that is young and alive and loves God would love this experience so much!